I watched this video this morning and was blown away. I ponder death and life a lot. Whether you believe this message or not, the real question that was posed can move mountains when you think about it. ”What is it like to go to sleep and never wake up?” ”What was it like to wake up after never gone to sleep?”
Thank you guys for the kind words, I was not in a good mood/place last night. I appreciate it and I feel much better today. So here’s some cats in teacups.
This isn’t a funny blog. There isn’t going to be any witty remarks or funny pictures. I’m not going to advertise this blog, and if you’re reading this, it’s probably best to just keep scrolling. I use my writing as an outlet for my emotions. I’m laying here in bed and can’t sleep, contemplating life and utterly miserable. I’m not saying I’m depressed. I’m sure if I ever went to a psychiatrist they would have a field day, but sometimes I just get down. Tonight is one of those nights.
I’ve just been contemplating a lot recently, and my life is just bugging me. I’ve learned to not complain about it as much, because it’s my own damn fault. I hate who I’ve become. I hate it. I’ve disconnected somewhere along the line, and I don’t know how to get back. I feel as though I’ve lost a piece of who I am…and that really bothers me. I hate where I am in life, and I don’t know what to do to fix it. I’ve become lazy and complacent, filling my time with idiotic, mundane hobbies that do nothing but waste my money and time. I see my friends getting married and having kids, and I remain the same. A constant state that I’ve been in for about ten years. I disgust myself. The biggest blow I’ve ever taken in my life was being told I’m not good enough by the person I loved more than life itself. I know it’s stupid, and I am over the relationship, but the scar it left hurts everyday. Thanks to that I’m just dead inside. I want to be loved unconditionally by someone, but I find it damn near impossible to trust. I am so sick of being everyone’s something, but no one’s everything. I don’t even know if I could let that happen anymore. I notice it more and more and it scares the hell out of me. I don’t feel emotions as much. I don’t love as much, and I surely don’t dream as much. I’ve all but given up on my projects, while it seems my friends have as well. No matter how much I looked for help and support and to work with them, it never happened. So they just faded into obscurity. I thrive off the admiration and support of others. I know that;s not good, but it’s how it is and always will be. One of my favorite quotes ever is “While is is always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.”
More and more life just gets a little sadder. Over the last half a year I lost two of the most important people of my life. That killed me inside. I really don’t even know how to deal with it. Life goes on like nothing happened and that scares the shit out of me. You live your life, you take in experiences, stories, and ideas, and then that’s it. You’re dead. I hate to be the Debbie Downer, but what the fuck is the point. No one is really special. Everyone gets forgotten at some point. One minute you can be here, the next you’re worm food.
I again, want to premise this by saying I’m not depressed or any of that type of shit, this is just a creative outlet where I express my emotions. I’m not throwing myself off a bridge or anything, just recent events got me really thinking about life and mortality. It scares the shit out of me. Every day death crosses my mind. Everyday someone I love could be ripped from me. I know we’re supposed to cherish those we have, but it’s just so scary. I hate that I even think of this stuff. I see people blissfully walking around in their mindnumbingly idiotic lives, succumbed to today’s pop culture references and never ending sports games, never thinking of any of this. I’m kind of jealous of that. I was born with this curse, and have thought about things way to much ever since I could remember. I am hesitant to even post this, but I like to give myself a reminder of the things I think of, happy or otherwise. I just need a little push. I know I was born for greatness, I just need a little help to get there.
Man this was a depressing blog, I really hope no one read this… :)
Listen in live today at 5pm with the attached link! We will be discussing a whole bunch of random and useless stuff! Call in and leave a message or comment! 1-877-DONG-LOL
written by Peter David
art by Giuseppe Camuncoli, Michele Benevento, Dan Brown, & Andres Mossa
This is probably the greatest thing I’m gunna read for a while.
Subway and I just had a fight. A pretty bad one, too. If Subway was my girlfriend, I would’ve broken up with her and blocked her on Facebook while uploading embarrassing photos of her drooling while she slept. I went to my local Subway and asked for an egg white footlong. Subways in my area serve egg all day…except this one.
"Egg," the woman scoffed while glancing at her watch, "At this time?"
A glared at her and said, “Apparently not…”
Sorry Sir, We Ran Your Card At 10:31, Give It Back.
I ordered a footlong oven roasted chicken breast, and when I asked for black pepper and buffalo sauce, she must have had it in her mind to “Pile it high!” like their raunchy veggies, as the sub was a black and red soup by the time she was done with it. I then paid $12! for that, a bag of baked lays and a watered down HI-C. What the hell Subway.
Pile High The Sadness, Please
This brings me to the stigma of our society of serving breakfast foods after a certain time. Who in the blue hell decided you can’t eat breakfast after 10:30 am? If I had the option, I would eat breakfast all day, everyday. But no, our society placed a firm timely cockblock on my happiness.
Ha, Get It??? GET IT????
I have a certain weakness for fast food, which is why I will only ever have a 2 pack and not a six pack, no matter how hard I work out. My weakness in life is McDonald’s breakfast. If I die and go to heaven, I picture it as white clouds covered in endless bacon, egg, and cheese’s firmly between their delicious, buttery biscuits. I would eat forever, and never get full or gain weight. Sadly, McDonald’s ends their breakfast time at 10:30, not a minute later. No one wants to be up and about that early unless you’re going to work, or have errands to run. No one.
I never understood why McDonald’s ends breakfast so early, if at all. I understand it’s hard to cook multiple items on two menus at a time, but think of the profits! EVERYONE wants your breakfast. If you say otherwise you’re a goddamn communist. Every person I have talked to about this subject loves something on their menu, vegetarians, vegans, meatatarians, it doesn’t matter.
Zero Meat In This, So Shut Up And Eat It.
So this dream goes out to the internet, and I humbly implore, nay, I come to you on hands and knees, your humble customer and bard of your breakfasty goodness, to offer your breakfast all day. The heavens will sing as your mcmuffins fill the lands with their tasty greatness. Hash browns will flow like wine. I will be happy. My friends will be happy. America will be happy. You are the last bastion of hope in the fast food breakfast market. Burger King’s breakfast is a soggy mess of broken souls. As I’ve covered before, Taco Bell was a broken dream laden with disappointment and despair. Wendy’s? Please. Make it right Ronald, spread your smile. I would love it.
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